They told me: Your words do a lot for me. Keep saying them.
I found it hard to believe. I would say these inspirational things, but I would doubt myself too. Often. Everyday. I’m bright on the outside and feel ugly and unwanted on the inside.
But, I keep saying them because someone needs to hear them. Recently, I started believing my own words.I started believing that I am enough and that I am needed. Someone benefits from my presence (even if I never discover who or how), so it behooves me to show up. To push. I get to keep pushing.
I don’t have to keep pushing. I get to keep pushing.
There’s such freedom in realizing that I get to create a positive and healthy life for myself. I get to smile in a room full of frowns. I get to dream – really, dream. Dreams are important. Don’t let anyone take them from you. Don’t let them trick you out of dreaming.
I get to move at my own pace with this healing thing. Childhood was hard. People can be mean right? They can be so full of themselves that they fail to see how you’re hurting. I have stories and scars. We all have them. But, I’m still writing this thing. I’m still working this thing. And as I do, I’m going to keep saying what someone needs to hear.
I’m going to keep saying that you matter and that you are beautiful. You are. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of happiness.
Truth is: all this scares me. If I’m worthy of so much, then can’t I lose it all?
I can. And even if I did lose it all somehow, I’d still be worth it. That’s how it works. You showing up as you are and acting out of good intentions is what matters. That’s where you start. The rest you’ll figure out.