Photo Credit: Toa Heftiba
I’m a busy-body and a worrier.
I make to-do list and itineraries when I’m on vacation. I have the magical ability to turn something fun into a character building activity. I ask for more responsibility even when my plate is full.
Yes, it’s as frustrating as it sounds – for anyone involved.
Here are some potential reasons I’m like this:
- I don’t want to miss out on anything.
- I don’t want to waste this energy I have.
- The story I often tell myself is that my day doesn’t count unless I get a lot done.
But, if I’m being real about it, the deeper story I tell myself is that my life only counts if I get a lot done. Somewhere along the way, I internalized this idea that my output is directly tied to my worth. I’m only deserving of love and appreciation if I’ve earned it. It’s not enough for me to just be.
I’m sure I’m not the only person who thinks like this.
Still, it’s so much pressure and it’s not at all realistic. We don’t have unlimited energy. Our bodies need rest.
We live in a time where we have the resources to do more with less. We see others accomplishing great things and and we tell ourselves:“You and (insert name of anyone you compare yourself to) have the same 24 hours in a day. Why aren’t you doing more with your life!?!”
What if I just want to be me today? What if I’m tired and exhausted from being in this body that carries hurt, joy, excitement, secrets, fears, trauma, history?
We don’t give ourselves enough credit for enduring all that living requires. It takes so much to simply exist. If we accounted for all the times in a day where we had to ignore something, let go of something, forgive something, tolerate something, we’d have a more accurate picture of what life really is at times: really freaking difficult.
So, I’m thinking that it’s okay if you and I don’t crush it today. It’s okay if we just arrive to where we’re headed.
I’m not going to lie, the achiever in me is like: “Dude, you’re setting the bar low.”
But, if the bar is always high, we won’t have the energy when we’re called to be 100% for the opportunities that truly matter to us.
Everything can’t be important. Some things need to wait.
Taking care of yourself can’t wait.
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